


Love Game

by r2q5



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bad Sex, Humor, Injury, M/M, Nosebleeds, Sex dice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 13:30:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10335716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/r2q5/pseuds/r2q5
Summary: Kylo and Hux try something new to “spice it up” in the bedroom. It doesn’t go as planned.Written for aprompton kyluxhardkinks.





	

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this kind of quickly and it's almost 4AM. There are probably a bunch of errors, I apologize!

“- _Oh!_ That reminds me- I brought back a gift.”

Kylo rolled off the bed excitedly, presumably to retrieve whatever “gift” he had brought. Hux blinked, still laying against the bedsheets, moments ago having been enjoying Kylo's full attention on his body.

Kylo had recently returned from a short mission off the Finalizer, nothing more than a bit of information-gathering about Resistance activity on a nearby planet called Antav-V. Him and Hux still took the opportunity to make up for lost time, so to speak. Kylo had embraced Hux the moment they were in relative privacy, and they were hardly able to keep their hands off of one another long enough to undress and stumble to Hux's bed.

Until Kylo remembered the mysterious gift, which he was now rummaging through the pockets of his discarded robes to find. Hux, (presently half-dressed, confused, and horny) craned his neck from the bed to stare at him.

“Ah! Found it!” Kylo declared, climbing back onto the bed. He was clutching something in his fist. Hux couldn’t tell what.

Hux crossed his arms across his chest, annoyed but flattered. “You didn't need to buy me anything. You should have been focusing on the mission."

Kylo rolled his eyes.

“I _was_ focusing on the mission. I just happened to pick these up while I was doing some… recreational shopping.” Kylo looked a little nervous, now, playing with whatever it was in his hand, rolling it back and forth. “It’s nothing big. A gift for both of us, really. Here, look.” He thrust out his palm for Hux to see.

Hux sat up a bit to study the proffered items. It was 3 dice, carved out of black stone. There was a standard 6-sided dice, and two more that seemed to be 10 and 12 sided. Hux couldn’t make out the details on the faces, but they looked beautiful. Kylo elaborated while Hux studied them.

“You were talking about you wanted to uh, “try new things” in the bedroom. So I thought this would be interesting. What do you think?”  
  
Hux blinked. “Don’t you think they’d get stuck?”  
  
“...What?”

Hux grabbed the 6-sided from Kylo's hand and looked more closely. The word “LICK” was painted onto the surface of the die in small, gold, font.

“Oh. Nevermind.”

Kylo scratched his neck, nervously.

“I lost the instruction booklet, but it seems pretty self-explanatory. I think you just roll these and then do what it tells you. Here, give me that one.”

Hux handed over the 6-sided die suspiciously. Kylo plucked it from his hand and shook all three dice excitedly, then threw them to the side. Two bounced off the bed and onto the floor.

“Oh, let me get those.” Kylo bounded off the bed with needless excitement to search for the runaway dice. Hux waited while Kylo collected them, curious to hear the result.

“SUCK, and this one says… ‘LOBE’. Like earlobe? I’m supposed to suck your ear, Hux.”

Hux picked up the die still on the bed and studied it. There was a tiny picture on the face that Hux could barely make out. “What is this one for, then?”

“Oh? What does it say?”  
  
“It’s a picture. It looks like two tiny people.”

Kylo walked to the side of bed, and Hux handed him the die. Kylo squinted at it.

“Ah, I think it’s…” Kylo squinted harder. “I think it’s a man spooning a woman from behind. So I need to spoon you and suck your ear from behind.”

“Why am I the woman?”  
  
“It's the most optimal position for me to complete the task. If you were behind me, it would cause all sorts of problems. So you're the woman this time” Kylo explained, helpfully.  
  
Hux grumbled and stripped off his briefs, throwing it away carelessly as he laid on his side. Kylo climbed onto the bed and gathered Hux in his arms, gently.

Kylo whispered. “Are you ready?”  
  
“Y-yeah?" Hux answered, slightly nervous.

Kylo took Hux’s ear into his mouth, gently. Hux flinched from the wet feeling of Kylo’s tongue running along the outside of his ear. This went on for a few moments, then Kylo pulled back.

“Are your ears sensitive? That’s cute.”  
  
“It’s not, really…” Hux was extremely red.

“Whatever you say.” Kylo teased, turning to grab the dice off the bedside table. He handed them to Hux with a nod. “Your turn.”

Hux took the dice and shook them dice like Kylo had. He released them, trying to get them to land on the bed this time. He succeeded, thankfully.

Hux shifted to look at them, the movement of the bed causing the dice to roll a little further. He frowned and picked up the two nearest to him, squinting as he read off the printed words.

“Tickle Cloaca.” Hux pronounced the phrase with emphasis. “That doesn’t seem right.”

Kylo looked over his shoulder. “Isn’t that basically the butthole? Maybe a translation error or something.”  
  
“I’m supposed to tickle your butthole?”  
  
“Er, I guess so?” Kylo replied, shrugging.  
  
Hux spotted the third dice near his knee and bent slightly to pick it up, looking at it critically. “We almost forgot this one.”

“Let me see.”

Hux handed over the die, and Kylo studied it for several moments.

“Well, what does it say?” Hux asked.  
  
Kylo was looking at the tiny picture very intently. “Hm, well… Go lay down on your side, facing me.”  
  
Hux eyed him suspiciously, and scooted down the bed into the proper position. Kylo grabbed the other two dice and put them back on the table, but he was still looking at the dice with the tiny diagrams.

“O-Okay, now I….”  
  
Kylo put the dice down, and faced Hux. Then, he laid on top of him so that the two were perpendicular and crossed at the hip. Hux was on his side and Kylo was bent across Hux’s body awkwardly.

They were both silent for a long moment.

“What?” Hux asked, finally.

“This is what it said to do!” Kylo cried, defensive.

Hux sighed.

“So what am I supposed to do now?”  
  
“Tickle my butthole, Hux.”

“From this angle? What was this about “optimal positioning”?” Hux asked.

“T-This is how it was labelled!”

“Fine! Get off my arm, then.”

Kylo lifted off Hux long enough for Hux to pull his arm from out underneath Kylo’s body, then searched around cluelessly for Kylo’s ass.

After a bit of awkward fumbling, he managed to find it, and awkwardly poked his index finger around between his cheeks, attempting to “tickle” him. Kylo tensed up uncomfortably.

“This hurts my arm.” Hux complained. “I’m not flexible enough for this.”

Kylo sighed and swatted Hux’s hand away. “Alright, alright. It’s my turn again. Maybe this one will make more sense.”

Kylo climbed off of Hux and turned back around to the bedside table, scooping up the dice and rolling them again on the hard surface. Hux turned over onto his back and waited for Kylo to read the results.

Kylo made a _'hmm'_ sound, intrigued. “It says 'Fondle tail'. I guess that means penis? Or maybe ass?”

“Oh, exciting.” said Hux, monotone.

“The position is still weird, though. I-I think that’s a hand? What is that?” Kylo handed the die to Hux for him to inspect. Hux squinted and held the die closer to his face.  
  
“Is it the penis?”

“No, penises aren’t shaped like that.”

“Maybe it’s a stylistic representation.”  
  
“I doubt it. Here, give it back.”

Kylo grabbed it and looked at it once again, trying to decipher the small golden figures painted onto the face. No matter how he looked at it, there just seemed to be too many limbs, and he doubted either one of them was flexible enough to achieve the desired position.

Still, Kylo was determined. He sat the die down on the bedside table and looked at Hux.

“Ok, come down further on the bed, stay on your back.” Kylo directed. Hux complied, shimmying downwards so that his head was touching the edge of the pillow.

“Now, I just need to…” Kylo crawled over so that he was at the end of Hux’s feet. He crouched on his toes carefully, his knees splayed and his back arched. Hux looked at him incredulously. Kylo's expression was very serious.

Kylo took Hux’s legs and hoisted him up, so that Hux’s legs were laid out along Kylo’s torso, Hux’s back hardly making contact with the bed.

"My neck hurts.” Hux complained, again.

Kylo ignored him. “Just go with it for a minute, now I need to- argh!” Kylo lost his balance, and his foot shot out to try and compensate, unfortunately kicking Hux square in the face. Hux screamed.

“FUCK!”

Kylo fell off the end of the bed, yelling.

“Oh God, oh God, Hux, are you ok?”  
  
“You gave me a bloody fucking nose!”

Kylo stood back up and ran to the bathroom. He hurried back with a box of tissues, incredibly distressed. Hux grabbed several, glaring at Kylo.

“Tilt your head back. Do you think it’s broken?”

“No, it’ll be fine.” Hux’s voice was muffled and nasal from pinching his nose.

“I’m really sorry I kicked you.”

Hux didn’t reply. There was a long pause.

“Kylo, what species is dominant on Antav-V?”

“Uh, some kind of amphibious race. Why?”  
  
Hux stared at him silently, only his eyes visible above the mess of blood-stained tissues.

Kylo’s eyes went wide as he realized his mistake, blood rushing up to color his cheeks.

“Hux, I-”

Hux didn’t let him finish. “I know you’re sorry, Kylo.” Hux dabbed at his nose one last time and put the tissues aside, the blood flow starting to quell. “You can make it up to me.”

Kylo looked miserable. “How?”

Hux laid back, spreading his legs slightly.

“Come ‘fondle’ this ‘tail’ _properly_ this time.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about the last line.
> 
> (let me know what you think, please! I'm on [Tumblr](http://www.r2q5.tumblr.com) as well.)


End file.
